So, perhaps in response to the sudden lack of Harry Potter in my life, I have been missing out on trips to the gym and replacing them with pie. One cannot live for long in the shadow of that unbalanced equation, for soon one will outgrow such a shadow.
And so I am embarking upon healthy living with renewed vigor, armed with tools provided by FitDay via Miss Gulley. It helps me keep track of how many calories I'm actually taking in and expending in the course of a normal day. Let me just say this. You can eat as many of Subway's turkey sandwiches as you want, provided you don't double the cheese or add anything more caloric than mustard, and you won't get fat. My theory is that it's like beer--you can't actually hold enough to do too much damage. Today, I've consumed about 900 calories, and I've gone through two of my three meals. This puts me in a much better spot than I was yesterday, when I skipped breakfast, but after lunch I had ingested over 1900 calories.
This was probably due to the two turkey sandwiches, the bread and butter I ate because I was too impatient to make a third sandwich, and the quarter of an apple pie I ate à la mode. The pie alone accounted for over 700 calories. When I finished that meal, I actually hurt.
So, I charted out my weight loss goal, and--no, let me stop right here. If you're one of those people who discourage those who aren't already overweight from losing weight, then f*ck you, hard; just because I'm not a lard ass already doesn't mean I need to be one before I qualify for your support. When I look in the mirror and think, "Man, I wish I could look like this without sucking in," or, "These pants used to fit really well..." then it's time for me to consider trimming off some excess fat and going to the gym more often. I have had too many people say they're worried about me developing an eating disorder or some other such bullshit concern. If you've ever seen me in front of a plate of anything alfredo, you know I'm not in any danger of becoming anorexic. And since I don't throw it up afterward, that officially makes me completely fine. Don't cut down my attempts at self-improvement to be more comfortable with your own tubby self. /rant
Like I was saying, I charted out my weight loss goal of 11 pounds in five-ish weeks, and I think I can do it if I really stick to eating smaller portions and start going to the gym five or six days a week again. The gym part doesn't really scare me, since I enjoy the exercise, and I LOVE answering my iPhone while I'm there: since people just see you wearing a pair of white earbuds, and you're not holding anything that really looks like a phone, they assume you're having a conversation with yourself; it's great.
Thirsty Thursday's tonight. I'm out to have some fun with the guys from the office at El Maguey. I'll cool it on the chips and limit myself to two Bud Lites.
26 July 2007
25 July 2007
Cuterz!
crate during the day while Daddy's at work, and she's done less than
$50 in damage so far. I'm so proud!
24 July 2007
Bereavement
It's over. Harry Potter has finally come to its dramatic conclusion. For those of you who haven't read it, don't worry--I'm not going to give anything away. I think it's polite to wait a couple weeks after release, when those of us who have interest in knowing will probably have finished it.
I always feel like this when I've finished a series that really captivated me. Terry Brooks did this to me with his earlier work, the original Shannara triolgy. When I finished Wishsong, I was depressed for a solid day. Not because of the ending, which upon reflection probably did a lot to preserve the integrity of the books, but because it was simply over. The same can be said of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's original Dragonlance Chronicles trilogy and Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. The power an imaginative and articulate author can weild is excruciatingly potent. Too much modern fantasy is mired in the predictable pulp stuff that was ported over from Science Fiction (the ray gun becomes the wizard's staff), so when something comes along that's actually thought out, that's planned and penned so excellently, the story becomes almost an obsession.
Ask anyone who's waiting for Robert Jordan to finish up The Wheel of Time.
So when you finally close the book, the last book, and the feeling of finality steals over you, and the sense of expectation and longing for the next one doesn't replace the hunger with which you devoured this one, what do you do? It's impressive and embarassing how attached we can become to our favorite characters, to needing to know more about a fictional universe. Though the pop culture craze over Harry Potter has made it easier to admit you're really a Ravenclaw at heart, what if you also know for sure you'd wear the Red Robes of Lunitari, or you have a really good theory on how to craft sa'angreal?
My answer would be to combat the longing by writing your own.
Unfortunately, this is also where authorial snobs like David Eddings say that they "don't worry too much about [that]" and suggest that the potential writer try something easier, "like rocket science..." Yes, he said that, in The Rivan Codex. Eddings is a mediocre writer who was able to capture interest with his first two series, but then lost it when people started to realize that he was regurgitating the same story with different proper nouns and crediting his wife with it in an attempt to sell more books. (Come to think of it, his wife's influence may have been why most of his female characters were so domineering and emasculating, yet the men were always lost without them).
In any case, rambling tribute to epic fanasy aside, the truth is that it is at best an unappreciated genre. Its devotees are often, like the gays, either closeted or just too far out there. Maybe Potter can change that, but I do not remain optimistic.
I always feel like this when I've finished a series that really captivated me. Terry Brooks did this to me with his earlier work, the original Shannara triolgy. When I finished Wishsong, I was depressed for a solid day. Not because of the ending, which upon reflection probably did a lot to preserve the integrity of the books, but because it was simply over. The same can be said of Margaret Weis and Tracy Hickman's original Dragonlance Chronicles trilogy and Stephen R. Donaldson's Chronicles of Thomas Covenant. The power an imaginative and articulate author can weild is excruciatingly potent. Too much modern fantasy is mired in the predictable pulp stuff that was ported over from Science Fiction (the ray gun becomes the wizard's staff), so when something comes along that's actually thought out, that's planned and penned so excellently, the story becomes almost an obsession.
Ask anyone who's waiting for Robert Jordan to finish up The Wheel of Time.
So when you finally close the book, the last book, and the feeling of finality steals over you, and the sense of expectation and longing for the next one doesn't replace the hunger with which you devoured this one, what do you do? It's impressive and embarassing how attached we can become to our favorite characters, to needing to know more about a fictional universe. Though the pop culture craze over Harry Potter has made it easier to admit you're really a Ravenclaw at heart, what if you also know for sure you'd wear the Red Robes of Lunitari, or you have a really good theory on how to craft sa'angreal?
My answer would be to combat the longing by writing your own.
Unfortunately, this is also where authorial snobs like David Eddings say that they "don't worry too much about [that]" and suggest that the potential writer try something easier, "like rocket science..." Yes, he said that, in The Rivan Codex. Eddings is a mediocre writer who was able to capture interest with his first two series, but then lost it when people started to realize that he was regurgitating the same story with different proper nouns and crediting his wife with it in an attempt to sell more books. (Come to think of it, his wife's influence may have been why most of his female characters were so domineering and emasculating, yet the men were always lost without them).
In any case, rambling tribute to epic fanasy aside, the truth is that it is at best an unappreciated genre. Its devotees are often, like the gays, either closeted or just too far out there. Maybe Potter can change that, but I do not remain optimistic.
16 July 2007
13 July 2007
Respite, respite and nepenthe!
Anymore, all I have to do to have enough vitriol to really get me going is to read the news. For those of who you don't know, I have conservative sympathies. I do. But I also have just a tinge of common sense. And that's enough to land me right in the middle of a subdued rage any time I read the news.
I just read this article from "San Francisco's Alternative Online Daily." Give me a break. Anyway, it's an article full of moral posturing, going so far as to describe the author's (note, not journalist's) political opinion as a "sacred duty". It's ridiculous that this kind of thing gets touted as news because it has some numbers in it. It's not political analysis, it's not prediction, it's not even reporting. It's an opinion piece in the guise of a headline.
Yes, Congress is nothing but a bunch of sissy career politicians vying for reelection. Yes, the president is delusional and completely unconcerned about public opinion. Yes, 70% of Americans are "against" the war in Iraq (meaning that 70% of those people wearing black berets and munching on bran muffins at Starbucks are against it, when phased in such a way as to indicate the camera-weilding questioner's preference to a certain response), and over 60% think that we should get out now.
Let's think for a moment. The likelihood that most people asked this question have read Zbigniew Brzezinski's The Choice or any comprarable and well-researched argument approaches zero. Let's also consider that, having almost no real information other than that provided by TV news, most Americans can be considered utterly uninformed about anything more relevant than Paris Hilton's stay in the LA County Jail, let alone world events and the global terrorism issue. Can anyone actually argue responsibly that we should be making policy decisions about such titanically complicated problems based on the contrived extraction of "opinion" from an uninformed, overweight public addicted to Dancing with the Stars? Are you kidding me? I'd threaten to move to Canada, but it's where all the morons from my college years promised to move if George Bush were reelected (however, much like their favored candidate in 2004, they changed their minds in the light of actual information (in this case, that moving to another country requires work, a phenomenon with which their silver-spooned childhoods never had time to acquaint them)).
It's times like this that I appreciate Ann Coulter. For those of you who think she's out there to push some radical worldview, you should stop reading this, right now, and turn on E! so you can catch up on the news that matters. For those of you who got past that test, keep reading; you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. The people who are turned off by Ann Coulter are idiots on the grounds that they think she's serious. This woman is utterly brilliant: she has achieved the highest possible form of media criticism. I believe her every stance is a calculated mockery of the lunacy she sees in the newspapers and on TV all the time. She's a conservative, of course, but she's not the crazy bitch that people make her out to be. She just doesn't give a damn about being liked, especially by "the liberals" (who she loves to lump all together). Read her books, seriously. They're like Al Franken's books, only funny and with a few facts thrown in for kicks. My favorite one so far is Godless: The Church of Liberalism. It's also her newest. Also, you're not allowed to quote it derisively unless you've read the whole thing. It's a fairly tight argument, and though I can't remember how long it is (I'll check my autographed copy when I get home), it's not longwinded.
We out.
I just read this article from "San Francisco's Alternative Online Daily." Give me a break. Anyway, it's an article full of moral posturing, going so far as to describe the author's (note, not journalist's) political opinion as a "sacred duty". It's ridiculous that this kind of thing gets touted as news because it has some numbers in it. It's not political analysis, it's not prediction, it's not even reporting. It's an opinion piece in the guise of a headline.
Yes, Congress is nothing but a bunch of sissy career politicians vying for reelection. Yes, the president is delusional and completely unconcerned about public opinion. Yes, 70% of Americans are "against" the war in Iraq (meaning that 70% of those people wearing black berets and munching on bran muffins at Starbucks are against it, when phased in such a way as to indicate the camera-weilding questioner's preference to a certain response), and over 60% think that we should get out now.
Let's think for a moment. The likelihood that most people asked this question have read Zbigniew Brzezinski's The Choice or any comprarable and well-researched argument approaches zero. Let's also consider that, having almost no real information other than that provided by TV news, most Americans can be considered utterly uninformed about anything more relevant than Paris Hilton's stay in the LA County Jail, let alone world events and the global terrorism issue. Can anyone actually argue responsibly that we should be making policy decisions about such titanically complicated problems based on the contrived extraction of "opinion" from an uninformed, overweight public addicted to Dancing with the Stars? Are you kidding me? I'd threaten to move to Canada, but it's where all the morons from my college years promised to move if George Bush were reelected (however, much like their favored candidate in 2004, they changed their minds in the light of actual information (in this case, that moving to another country requires work, a phenomenon with which their silver-spooned childhoods never had time to acquaint them)).
It's times like this that I appreciate Ann Coulter. For those of you who think she's out there to push some radical worldview, you should stop reading this, right now, and turn on E! so you can catch up on the news that matters. For those of you who got past that test, keep reading; you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free. The people who are turned off by Ann Coulter are idiots on the grounds that they think she's serious. This woman is utterly brilliant: she has achieved the highest possible form of media criticism. I believe her every stance is a calculated mockery of the lunacy she sees in the newspapers and on TV all the time. She's a conservative, of course, but she's not the crazy bitch that people make her out to be. She just doesn't give a damn about being liked, especially by "the liberals" (who she loves to lump all together). Read her books, seriously. They're like Al Franken's books, only funny and with a few facts thrown in for kicks. My favorite one so far is Godless: The Church of Liberalism. It's also her newest. Also, you're not allowed to quote it derisively unless you've read the whole thing. It's a fairly tight argument, and though I can't remember how long it is (I'll check my autographed copy when I get home), it's not longwinded.
We out.
12 July 2007
First Post in the style of Mark England
The first post, as everyone knows, is doomed to suck. You've got, what, a paragraph of content that's relevent, if that? Well, who am I to interrupt literally months of tradition?
So this post will suck. In fact, it's in the process of doing it right now. No matter how much psychic energy I expend, it will continue its descent into the toilet.
It is at this point in any post that I have the moment of the reality check. You know that of which I speak. I'm typing along and suddenly think, "Who the hell cares?" This moment has been the weedout for many a post.
It has also failed to stop some really bad ones. A lot like airport security.
I have a secret. I'm not going to tell you what it is, though, becuase 1) I like secrets and 2) I can't tell you what it is.
Oh, and in other news, the Pope has said I'm not a Christian. Or at least not a "real" Christian. Anyone up for a discussion on transferrable merit? Don't think that's not where he's going.
So this post will suck. In fact, it's in the process of doing it right now. No matter how much psychic energy I expend, it will continue its descent into the toilet.
It is at this point in any post that I have the moment of the reality check. You know that of which I speak. I'm typing along and suddenly think, "Who the hell cares?" This moment has been the weedout for many a post.
It has also failed to stop some really bad ones. A lot like airport security.
I have a secret. I'm not going to tell you what it is, though, becuase 1) I like secrets and 2) I can't tell you what it is.
Oh, and in other news, the Pope has said I'm not a Christian. Or at least not a "real" Christian. Anyone up for a discussion on transferrable merit? Don't think that's not where he's going.
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